White coat. Heels.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
