Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
