Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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