the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
