ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
