Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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