i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
