its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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