So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can't turn off my feet"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i out mim tonsoeep
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