I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
