just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
