I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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