ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize