Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
