Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
