I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
