I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
