it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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