this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
