Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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