Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
