So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
