Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
