"it" just moved
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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