You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Randomize
