I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
