well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
