i think my tv is drunk
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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