no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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