My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
