i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize