im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
