By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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