if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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