I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize