so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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