Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
