Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
