Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
