What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
