ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
A bitchslap is in order.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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