found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
