I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
50% drunk capacity currently
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
