he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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