Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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