so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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