I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
