he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
