I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
