Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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