so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
