go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
