Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
