One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
And then he peed in my hair
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