so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
