On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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