Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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