I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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