It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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