It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
