Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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