considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
